We've all heard it. We've probably even said it or had someone say it to us. "With great privilege comes great responsibility." You roll your eyes. Everyone knows that. A new position at work, coming into some money, a new pet...whatever it may be... well all know that those things come with responsibilities.
When it comes to being a parent, I'm not sure that there is greater privilege....I'm also not sure that there is greater responsibility. I know what you're thinking. How could you possibly know? You've never had kids. Well I am a daughter, I am a step-mother, and I am a teacher. It doesn't take a genius to figure these things out. With those things being said, I feel like somehow I've seen this from the outside, in and from the inside, out.
Everyone (well, mostly) loves babies. Here in the south babies are every woman's goal. We're raised from children to know that our future looks like getting married and having babies and sending out the perfect Christmas card every year. Posting all the perfect pictures on facebook so everyone can see just how happy we are. It's tradition, it's just the way it goes. What they don't tell you is about the hard times - about how much work it's going to be - how much responsibility - physically and emotionally - that comes with it.
They especially don't tell you about the emotional responsibility. No matter how much love falls automatically into place the day you lay your eyes on that sweet babe, the emotional responsibility is a different story. When you decide to become a parent you take on shaping another humans' emotions and life. That's where the great responsibility comes into play. Children are born dedicated to their parents. It doesn't matter what you do, how you do it, how much money you spend, they are dedicated to you. That's the privilege. Watching those little eyes looking up at you to be the sole provider of everything for them - you, in a sense, are their God. Seriously, what a privilege.
So know, that no matter how much you do or don't buy for them never really matters. Small children never care about that stuff. They need to know how much you love them. Not just in words, but in the actions you take. You could treat them badly, you could put yourself first, you could barely provide for them - BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU ARE STILL THEIR PERSON(PEOPLE). They will never hold it against you that you chose to get a new tattoo over buying them a jacket that they need, they will never hold it against you that you chose to spend money on drugs instead of keeping the lights on, they will never hold it against you that you stayed on the phone the whole time you were having dinner with them, they will never hold it against you that you left them. None of that matters, the title of mama or daddy gives you a get out of jail free card with your children. Every. Single. Time. They are so forgiving. To take advantage of a love that pure is the worst thing you could ever do. Pure love like that is only given by small children and Jesus. It is rare and it is pure gold. Do not let a gift like that pass you by. Soak it in, they deserve it.
Small children grow, and they start participating in school activities, ball games, music recitals, and guess who the first person they are going to look for in the audience is? You. When they see you there, they're going to do their best to make you so proud. But guess what happens if they don't see you? You're still going to be the first person they think of and they're still going to love you despite their hurt. Do not let a gift like that pass you by. Soak it in, they deserve it. Show up.
Those young children eventually grow into adults. That's when they really realize all the sacrifices you made for them as parents - the way you supported them, the games you showed up for, the terrible poems you oohed over, they way you told them that they looked nice for the school dance, the interest you took in them and even in their friends. That's when they'll truly realize the impact you made on their life. Don't let them look back and remember the empty chair you promised you be in.
So there it is - from someone who isn't a biological parent - there is someone who will worship the ground you walk on no matter what you do. A child will love you despite all your flaws. We all make mistakes. Learn from them, move forward, but always be there, be worthy of such love. It is such a privilege to be a parent, so don't lack on the side of responsibility.
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